We just can't quit you - but we can
We know it's super close to Valentine's Day and it's really not an appropriate time to be talking breakups, but, listen, it's not us, it's you.
It's just that we saw how happy Beyonce and Jay-Z have been with the arrival of that little pop superstar Blue Ivy and we knew we could do better. So the Weekly Roundup is now reborn. We're a new man. Or woman. (Very progressive.) We're single and proud. At least that's what we tell ourselves as we cry ourselves to sleep at night.
Anyway, it's important to note our good times and bad times so we can appreciate what we had together. Please don't let silly emotions get in the way of logic. Let's face it, this is for the best. We're in good company, right? Look at Demi and Ashton. That is one sinking ship we wouldn't want to be on. Katy and Russell? They were tailor made for divorce. And we promise not to unfollow you on Twitter or anything! JLo and Marc? Even Latino royalty couldn't make it work. So let's not beat ourselves up about this.
I mean, it's not like we're Kim Kardash and Kris and we didn't TRY. We did that couples therapy for a while, we went on that weekend to Spain, but ... it's just not working. At least we didn't get all crazy and flip you the bird on international television like M.I.A. did last week. This whole divide is probably due to all the public scruntiny we've faced lately. Think of us as a better-looking Fazer and Tulisa.
So, um, this is a bit awkward. Sorry for springing it on you like this. At least we didn't do it via text message... or Facebook chat (we considered that). This is much more civil, right?
Just try to think of the happy times. And, on Tuesday, stock up on Haagen Dazs.